spoiler star wars spoiler


Journeyed there and back again
seriously spoiler.

I don't believe in a spoiler free review, as in I don't think its possible. after months of hearing "I see dead people" how do you not figure out he was dead the whole AS SOON AS HE GETS SHOT.

people kept joking about when "jar jar binks dies" in force awakens . that tells me someone does die. most likely solo. because the longer harrison ford stayed on screen the more likely he ruins the character mythos by looking like he broke a hip.

anyway back to last Jedi. I'm mostly writing this to collect my thoughts, and try to form an opinion. this movie is either 2nd or 5th place of the six SW movies (cough, only six count) and that's mostly due to the ambiguity I feel of most the scenes.

The Best Stuff
star trek brought us brilliant sub warfare, to space combat
.star wars OG brought us old ww1 dogfight movies back SHOT for SHOT, in space combat.
and the openings scenes of this brought us old flying fortress movies back to life in a coherent space setting.

brilliantly done.

Yoda is back.
by using a puppet instead of lazy cgi Yoda is back looking real and interactive. instead of the cartoon cgi monster he was in prequels. they also have his dialogue a sense of reason he speaks like Yoda, instead of the weird 3 year old language he had recently.

original plot.
it certainly can't be confused with other star wars movies.

pretty stunning.

Tolstoy said, never put a gun over the mantle unless someone will use it later in the story. this holds true here, as every SINGLE trinket and thing is used later.

very good force description that retcons prequels.

dude that sacrifice to destroy the enemy fleet.

serious foundation oveerarc as empire crumbles we are now on the second vestige of trying to maintain the empire in the power vacuum.

solo is now main villain, didn't see that coming

worst stuff.
they crammed some politics in. she described this place as home of the worst people in the galaxy. than BAM rich people having a yacht party toasting with champagne. the next 15 minutes is jammed with political satire.
really it's not soo bad, but it still a bit of a groaner.

from a solid base and a good fleet, to a dozen or so and the falcon and no allies, yet they tried to pretend this was a happy ending.

The bait and switch/ or how to repeatedly build up a climax without payoff
this is throughout. the whole thing, this is the one thing that leads me so confused on my opinion, is this genius, or is the constant "F Us " to the audience cause to hate.

this is mostly visual F Us

The first, after two years of anticipation for Rey approaching Luke. he literally nonchalantly chucks the lightsaber behind him.

after Yoda seems to stop Luke fromtorching the tree and texts, he does it anyway. which is fine , good speech . then near the end we see Rey smuggled them away. no payoff anymore. or it could be genius as by convincing Luke that it all starts again without Jedi and Sith, but whatever's next. this allows Luke to let go of his dark side (fear) and save the day in the end, by reaqquainting himself with the force.

omg here's the plan, save the day. nevermind nearly ruin everything

scumtown, nope, space Monte Carlo

our hero, nope that criminal.

Luke must be there, he handed over a real object. haha, it's a very good astral projection.

she's evil and possibly a spy. or genius

she's dead. nevermind she supermaned

omg return of Jedi capture and face bigger Sith. nope

omg it's just hoth...nevermind, that's salt.

omg it's just like force awakens when Poe saves the day across the lake. nevermind the failed.

omg SHOT for SHOT death star flying.

Indian a Jones didn't do anything

mostly, neither did most heroes in this. most things not Rey, led to nevermind moments. or I screwed everyone moments.

I cried

Carrie fisher is dead so I expected sometime for them to resolve this in the movie, likely with leias death. so as solo jr. battles with his consience and finds him unable to kill his mom (who he feels her presence) they bait and switch and his wing support take the SHOT and we watch her die. I cried a little. THAT'S how they resolve it, the emotions were thick, I felt it hard. very well done.
she superman s back to life and we are left still wondering how they might resolve the loss of this actor.


Journeyed there and back again
ohh. everyone seems to groan about the cute animals only designed to sell toys.


toys are at the heart of star wars from the beginning. even the hideous mynocs ended up toys, but no one bought them you need cute things.

this was also a very dark depressing movie with death in nearly every scene (also a fleet of thousands of people is now 12 to 20). you need something to break it up a little.

ok the chewie is hungry bit, is aggravating, but not horrible.


Super Moderator
Staff member
I thought it was brilliant. Admittedly I did almost fall.asleep in the first half hour, but that was more due to having knocked back 3 pints in the pub beforehand.

Loved all the little critters, and wasn't too fussed about the film being quite 'disneyfied' .. as far as I'm concerned this is yet another strong SW film, just like the previous two.


Journeyed there and back again
I have decided. it's good enough to snuggle between force awakens and a new hope..

also just found out the island is a penguin sanctuary. they can't move the penguin they can't digitally remove them with uggs . so every penguin is turned into a porgie.

Derk of Derkholm

Journeyed there and back again
Like your reviews, spot on :)
Ah, the weight off my chest, now having seen the movie and not needing to be vigilant because everything I look at might be a spoiler...

Silvion Night

Sir Readalot
Staff member
I didn't like this one as much as I liked the Force Awakens and Rogue one. Just too much suspension of disbelief. The Leia / superman scene was a god awful mess (people started laughing in the cinema...) and the role of Luke was unrecognizable (I heard Mark Hamil agreed initially, but then got threatened by Disney to change his tone and now he's "super happy" with the new Luke). Also: what the hell happened to Luke there at the end? He just straight up pulled an unnecessary Obi-Wan and disappeared (whereto? To the Force?) And what's with Snoke. That was the least satisfying ending to a villain I've ever seen. And I didn't like the Kylo Ren / Rey relationship.

What was the worst thing though is that the entire movie is basically about a space battle that was messed up by the rebellion and their subsequent flight. Nothing got resolved, it was all just a big chase with no meat to it whatsoever. No visiting cool planets with exotic creatures. No, instead we get another short stint at a desert planet (yay, another one of those) and a ridiculous side-quest to a Mos Eisley-esque casino planet?

Besides all the complaints, I'd still rate it with a 7 though. It wasn't bad per se, just not up to the standards of what I would call a good Star Wars movie.

What was really cool though was that I got to experience the movie in 4D. It's a new feature at the most prominent Amsterdam cinema. You get strapped into a seat that resembles a carnival attraction (4 persons per bench). The seats bumps around quite vehemently aligned with things that happen on-screen. There's also sprays of water and puffs of air. The whole thing combined ,makes for an engaging experience (especially during space battles or high-speed cat/horse races).

Tolstoy said, never put a gun over the mantle unless someone will use it later in the story.
Wasn't it Anton Checkov who said that?


Journeyed there and back again
Wasn't it Anton Checkov who said that?
that was an error on my part.

although since the letters are often mentioned but not seen, there are a lot of people who claim them to be falsely attributed to Chekhov. instead pointing to numerous russian authors that predate chekov, most notably Gogol , who in fact violates the wisdom often.

also of note, it's popularly quoted ass a Hitchcock quote too. likely by english speakers who don't read russian literature.

I will defend Hamils death scene, he over expended himself. creating a hard light construct astral projection THAT far away that can also see for himself. he was essentially doing the dead Jedi ghost thing, alive. he looked physically taxed before his life extinguished.

Derk of Derkholm

Journeyed there and back again
The guy was called Pavel Chekov!
I seriously wonder how badly people follow even the most basic literature ;-)

Silvion Night

Sir Readalot
Staff member
The guy was called Pavel Chekov!
I seriously wonder how badly people follow even the most basic literature ;-)
I think there's a joke in here, but it went over my head I'm afraid. :)

Alice Sabo

Knows how to pronounce Kvothe
The best screamer ever!

Derk of Derkholm

Journeyed there and back again
How to insult 3 groups of Nerds, with only one single T-shirt ;-)



Journeyed there and back again
How to insult 3 groups of Nerds, with only one single T-shirt ;-)

View attachment 933
fun factoid, the catch phrase "exterminate" was based on ridley Scott's Terminator where Stallone would walk around saying "Terminate Baggiiiiiiiiiiiiiins" .

This of course was in the original trilogy, before Rawlings retconned the whole Narnia bit into a fever dream of benedict Cumberbatch.