Which forum member would you fight in a duel and what would be your weapon of choice?

Silvion Night

Sir Readalot
Staff member
#1
Yesterday I saw the Firefly episode where Mal challenged some snobby nobleman to a duel for insulting Inara. It was a sword duel and Mal -unaccustomed to old timey weaponry- only managed to win by use of trickery. However, the duel was kinda cool and now I can't get it out of my head.

Fantasy is also of course rife with duels. No wonder. Duels are cool. From the Scandinavian Holmgang to the Renaissance fencers. From ASOIAF's trial-by-combat to the magical duels in Harry Potter.

Now, let us see who will be challenged to a duel, what the preferred weapon is and why you feel you need to challenge the person of your choice to a duel.

Fun fact: No less than 4 British prime-ministers engaged in a duel whilst in office. Tea and crumpets anyone?

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I'd challenge @TomTB to a duel.

Reason: The fact that he likes Gardens of the Moon better than Deadhouse Gates is just unbearable to me. Can't abide it. Also, remember when the Brits defeated the Dutch in the Fourth Anglo-Dutch Sea War (1780-1784)? No? Never mind. Prepare to be annihilated (or at least slightly rumpled).

Weapon of choice: Flaming Swords. With all the complaining about the heat, I know for a fact that my adversary can't stand high temperatures. He'd be undone within moments if I unleash my flaming sword of justice upon him.
 

moonspawn

Journeyed there and back again
#5
@TomTB if you dueled @Hand of Fear I would be his second.

If I were to duel a forum member I would duel @Amaryllis for daring to criticize Malazan, which is the best ever fantasy series. My weapon of choice would unsurprisingly be Anomander's Rake's sword Dragnipur and thus when I slay him his soul will be trapped inside forever! :troll:

I basically have already dueled him before and our weapon of choice was nothing but mere words!
 

TomTB

Super Moderator
Staff member
#6
The pair of you combined wouldn't pose a threat to the might of Twaticle !! FEEL THE WRATH OF TWATICLE !!!
 

Amaryllis

Journeyed there and back again
#7
If I were to duel a forum member I would duel @Amaryllis for daring to criticize Malazan, which is the best ever fantasy series. My weapon of choice would unsurprisingly be Anomander's Rake's sword Dragnipur and thus when I slay him his soul will be trapped inside forever! :troll:

I basically have already dueled him before and our weapon of choice was nothing but mere words!
It would be an improvement over my current job, so I see no downside to accepting this. It's not actually forever, and I will further hedge my bets by putting on a dog costume and interacting with Ganoes Paran beforehand.

My weapon will be the Sword of Truth, because it would be really funny to win a duel with a weapon from one of the worst series' ever, and also because it glows red when I get angry, so it would also be like a sith lightsaber, which gets two things off my bucket list at once.
 

Sparrow

Journeyed there and back again
#8
No one in particular, but I'd love a good duel for fun, on my less crippled days anyway. Sparrow seems to share my love of costume and theatricality, so I imagine we'd have fun!

Weapon of choice? Well, would depend on the whim before each duel. I'm very tall and built huge - think Darth Vader - so I lean toward weapons that afford more control than, say, a claymore but which can still be brought down like a ton of bricks on another weapon.

If my partner would let me have them in the house, I'd have a sizeable sword collection by now. My top five melée weapons, ranked: estoc, mace, cavalry saber (French, Napoleonic especially if I'm being picky), spear (with qualifications; we're talking spears made of modern materials specifically) and the good old foil-in-cane combo gets a spot for sheer utility: hidden, inoffensive, optionally non-lethal as a club or by lunging at disabling points rather than organs, and in a pinch, the cane component itself might serve as an unwieldy main-gauche (again given modern materials).

Then I would answer the call... as a fan of Anne Rice's early work, 'Interview With The Vampire', yes I know that's *cringeworthy*, and lover of all things New Orleans; I imagine the setting to be a moonlit cemetery or perhaps an abandoned opera house. I would enter the stage impeccably dressed, with high manners to match... lull sweet Lyra with my lilting southern accent, pull from the sash around my waist two stilettos - so be it, Foil vs. Stiletto.
Be at the ready Lyra; if the gods will it to be, I will send you to the next life with my shiny blade between your ribs... and my kiss on your lips.
;)
 

Sparrow

Journeyed there and back again
#9
Those are grave words indeed.
Though why make such a fuss... when I have a reputation of putting the 'fun' back into funeral.;)
 

l3gacy

Dr. Awesomesauce
Staff member
#10
I will find @Jon Snow and I will duel him. My weapon of choice is a tennis ball cannon.


I'll laugh and laugh as the sound of a tennis ball making contact with @Jon Snow 's forehead echoes throughout the world. Also, I will record it and make him watch it every Christmas morning.
 

wakarimasen

Journeyed there and back again
#11
Duel eh? That's likely to occur from a disagreement between gentrified folk. As such I could conceive of a falling out between myself and @Boreas on a minor point of Banksian lore.

Umbrellas. At tea time. Pimms and sandwiches for the winner.
 

Jon Snow

No Power in the Verse can stop me
Staff member
#12
I will find @Jon Snow and I will duel him. My weapon of choice is a tennis ball cannon. I'll laugh and laugh as the sound of a tennis ball making contact with @Jon Snow 's forehead echoes throughout the world. Also, I will record it and make him watch it every Christmas morning.
Too bad for you, but I've had expert training.

 

Derk of Derkholm

Journeyed there and back again
#13
Being a rather peaceful forum member, I would have to watch out for another forum member who would engage in a battle of wits with me.

On the other hand, that might be quite tough against most of you all, so I would likely chicken out....
 

Boreas

Journeyed there and back again
Staff member
#15
Duel eh? That's likely to occur from a disagreement between gentrified folk. As such I could conceive of a falling out between myself and @Boreas on a minor point of Banksian lore.

Umbrellas. At tea time. Pimms and sandwiches for the winner.
You're not using umbrella as a euphemism for a Lazy Gun by any chance, are you?
 

Danica

Queen of the boards!
Staff member
#17
This is awesome!

I don't want to fight with anyone though. I mostly just want to give people hugs for being such nice people. @Jon Snow and I had a great time when we went for dinner. I think we should all just be friends., alternatively @Derk of Derkholm and @wakarimasen and I eat dinner and judge all the duels!
 

Derk of Derkholm

Journeyed there and back again
#18
All fun aside, I would really like to play that video game "Domination" that James Bond (Sean Connery) and Felix Largo (Klaus Maria Brandauer) played in the 1983 movie "Never say Never again".

domination.JPG

To those who have not seen the movie, if a player takes a hit, the electrodes in the joystick would give him an electric shock, with the power of the shock commensurate with the damage taken in the game.
 

Silvion Night

Sir Readalot
Staff member
#20
Duels can be friendly!

I'll duel anyone whose favorite book is any of Hitchhiker's Guide, Harry Potter or LotR. Pugil sticks till first touch, anyone?
Got something to say about Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy!? Why don't we take it outside!? :mad:;)