by Sarandon Branderson
Pretty, popular, and mean as they come Jessica Wakefield hates the handsome new literature teacher at Sweet Valley High! Despite his uncanny resemblance to Harrison Ford, he's assigned her class the entire Mistborn series by Brandon Sanderson to read by the end of the semester. Not at all a fan of fantasy, Jessica is determined to protest by letting the whole town know these books are filled with poor moral choices and religions that aren't Christianity! However her kind and honest twin sister, Elizabeth Wakefield, is a huge fan of Brandon Sanderson and hatches a plan to save Mr. totally not Harrison Ford's job and get more kids to enjoy the Mistborn series. She writes a parody novel under the assumed identity Sarandon Branderson that is so disturbing and disgusting that it will lead the whole town to condemn it and defend Brandon Sanderson as a paragon of virtue and family friendly fantasy adventure! This parody novel, 'The Annoyomancer', follows the quest of Kelsey, Tin, Sade, Spikyface, and Axkillium as they seek to overthrow The Bored Ruler, Ascend on the Ferriswheel of Ascension, learn about Ska music, and understand the conflict between the enormous primordial forces at work shaping the world of Scabiesel. It's actually not half bad, sitting somewhere in between elaborate, well-written fanfic and academic dissertation on complicated systems of music and magic. There is an Adult version of 'The Annoyomancer', and a Children's / LDS version too with the raunchy bits replaced. Choose wisely! Or buy both?
About the Author
Sarandon Branderson is like an alternate universe Brandon Sanderson who suffered severe brain damage after a crazy squanching session with an alcoholic Kzin. He enjoys airplane turbulence, and lives day to day, hand to mouth, writing fantasy novel parodies not just to survive, but to someday even quit his day job and get to squanching all year long! If he was an Allomancer his metal would be Zinc (for rioting). If he was a Feruchemist his metal would be Cadmium (for breathing). As a twinborn, he'd be called a mouth breather. He'd never be a Mistborn, but might say he is for SEO purposes. Mistborn.